So I’m supposed to be off book for Gorey Stories on Saturday.  I knew this, somewhere in the back of my mind, but the reality of it didn’t set in with me until our stage manager said something about it last night at the end of rehearsal.

Begin panic mode…

See, here’s the thing…When I do a show I learn my lines largely by repetition.  I can sit down and memorize a script if I have to, but I get a much more solid grasp of the script if I hear both my part and the parts of my fellow actors in my head over and over again.  Due to the nature of this show, much of our rehearsal time has been eaten by musical rehearsals and there are some sections we simply have run that often yet.  As such, I can’t “hear” them in my head…and it’s making things REALLY difficult for me.  I just went over my script a few times during lunch, and it almost feels like some parts of the show are completely foreign to me.

Meh.  It will come.  I just hope I don’t spend 90% of my stage time calling for lines on Saturday.

In other show news, I have what is probably the most challenging song I’ve ever had to perform in this one.  It’s pretty high in my range, and I’m having a really difficult time getting enough air in my lungs to hit those notes (there just isn’t much room in it for breathing).  When I do?  Sounds great?  When I don’t?  Sounds like I’m dying (at least to me).  Talked with our (most excellent) music director about getting a rehearsal track for that one, and she’s going to be spending more time with those of us who have solos in the next few rehearsals.

Wednesday and Thursday have become my hell days.  I have to be in the office, so I end up going straight to the theater after work.  If we get out of rehearsal on time I get home a little after 10:30 PM.  Wednesday is supposed to be one of my workout days, but last night I didn’t have a full hour in me.  I’m proud of the fact that I managed to knock out 30 minutes, but the primary motivation behind that was the fact that I figured out my POINTS for the day and I was 2 over (with no Flex POINTS left to spend).  I’m really, really trying to keep the show from derailing my workout routine.  The last time I didn’t get back into the groove until months and months later.  With as good as I’ve been doing recently on that front that’s just not acceptable.  It’s bad enough that I’ve basically started smoking again.  Note to self : Taking a weekend “off” to smoke while on vacation is a bad idea, especially when you’re coming back to a very stressful work environment and a show.   I’m not back to a pack a day habit, but I can already feel that heaviness returning to my chest when I wake up in the morning (probably contributing to my breath issues in Gorey Stories as well).

Alex is still having emotional issues at school, and he’s been very clingy in my off time as a result.  He’s constantly talking about getting in “Us time” or having a “Father/Son Day,” which is a wonderful thing but I have very little time for me and to get the things done that I need to get done.  Things like my laundry, grocery shopping, paying bills, general house cleaning/maintenance.  Then there’s that whole “memorizing lines” thing.  Not that I want to sound like I’m bitching about my son wanting to spend time with me – I’m not.  This recent level of wanting me to take him places and do things with him is unprecedented, though, and came at a really bad time.  Some day, I know, I’ll be wishing he called more often and that he had time to spend with me.  The Cat is in the Cradle and all that Jazz.  I get it.  There are only so many hours in the day, though. 

Sigh.

All in all, though, I think the show is coming together really well.  I’m really looking forward to the end product on this one.  It’s just going to be an exhausting process to get there.  I REALLY can’t wait until I get some pictures taken in full makeup and costume.  If I come out looking half as cool as the others did in our promo shots I’m going to have some new user icons. 

This whole post came off a lot more bitchy and emo than I intended, really.  I’m just wiped out today.  Part of my agenda for the afternoon is plotting out the rest of my vacation time this year.  I’ve got 2 more personal days coming to me, an I have almost 50 hours of vacation piled up.  Can you say “lots of three day weekends”?  I knew ya could.