I’m having a serious down day as far as my weight is concerned.  Down as in “not feeling motivated and getting frustrated again,” not down as in loss.

That’s part of the problem.

I was only down .4 pounds this week.  This is a week after being up over 3 pounds.  Now normally I’m ok with that kind of thing, but…I’ve been working incredibly hard.  I’ve been journaling everything.  Everything.  I’ve been exercising every day.  I’ve been getting my water in.  Taking vitamins.  You name it.

I’ve even quit smoking for fuck’s sake.  Tomorrow will be seven weeks.

I’m sorry, but a net gain of 2.6 pounds over a two week period in which I have done some seriously high intensity exercise every day is fucking frustrating.

K. says she can really see the difference.  I posted some pictures yesterday (for those of you on that filter), and I can even see some of it.  But it’s too slow and subtle for me to see easily.  I live in this body.  Every day.  I look at it.  Every day.  Slow changes don’t register because I adapt to them as they happen.  The scale is my best indicator as to what is going on.

And all the fucking scale is doing is showing me that I’m STILL STUCK IN THE SAME GOD DAMNED WEIGHT RANGE I’VE BEEN IN SINCE JANUARY OF 2005.

Sigh.

There are a few more things I could do.  I could give up the coffee.  I could stop eating at my desk.  I could stop with the low point snacking and switch to raw veggies. 

Or I could just be patient, keep doing what I’m doing, and accept the fact that it’s going to take time for this recent fitness routine I’m on to start showing up on the scale.  Accept the changes that Krys is pointing out to me physically.  Accept the progress that I’m seeing when I take my Physical Challenges.

But damn it’s hard sometimes.

Oh, by the way….I DID get a cloth measuring tape….and I started to take my own measurements….and they were so far off from what I think they should be I was either doing it horribly wrong or I’m physically even bigger than I realized I had gotten again…so not so sure I’m willing to risk that kind of psychological damage to myself.  IF I do it, though, do any of you happen to have a link to some kind of chart or easy measurement tracking system up I’d really appreciate it.