Ok…the weirdest fucking thing just happened. I was heating my dinner in the microwave, and when the little buzzer went off to indicate that my foodstuffs were done, I went to take my food out. Before I got there, however, the microwave started again. It went to twenty seconds. Then it went to 40. Then it went to one minute.
So, of course, at this point I’m freaking out.
I let this go on for a bit, and it got up to three minutes. So I yank the door open. When I do, the dial shoots up to the maximum of fifteen minutes.
My microwave is possessed.
Help me.
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**consoles you** hehehe
yeah, i wouldn’t blame you.. i would be freaking out as well.. i probably wouldnt be sleeping tonight.
my parents once had a bread machine that spit sparks of fire, not as cool as a possessed microwave, but still bizarre kitchen stories are fun. One of my favorite movies scenes is in Pump Up the Volume where the preppy girl puts her pearls in the microwave, blows up a bunch of her shit, and gets down with the boogie like a bad girl. 😀
Why am I still up at this hour?
Microwave Exorcism
It’s clear that a microwave exorcism must be done post haste. Start by cleansing the area with lysol kitchen antibacterial, expunging the aura of food spirits gone bad, cooked at too high a temperature, etcetera.
Make a cross of tinfoil and threaten the microwave until the dials stop of their own accord. Pray that it return to it’s former functioning thus removing the necessity using tinfoil.
For the truly possessed appliance, put a metal baking pan in and cook on high for a half hour until microwave explodes. Then buy a new microwave.