I got a call from my surgeon about 20 minutes after my last post went live. He conferred with the two surgeons who would be working with them and they concluded that the procedure is too dangerous for me to undergo at this time due to the occluded blood vessel. He’s punting me back to my oncologist for alternative treatments (different types or more chemo, for example).

So I’m back to square one.

On the plus side I met with an endocrinologist for the first time yesterday and we’re looking at some extra steps to get my sugars under control and give some relief to my pancreas. I’m not a fan of being put on insulin, but at this point I feel it’s inevitable and I’m very much looking forward to having “normal” blood sugars. It would be really nice to get a full nights sleep or be able to see a whole movie in one sitting without having to get up multiple times to use the restroom, not to mention dealing with the other diabetes symptoms I’m seeing.

Still, I’m incredibly frustrated that, yet again, there is no clear cut path towards treating my tumor and my entire life is going to continue being ruled by that uncertainty for the foreseeable future.

I need something to look forward to other that just surviving from day-to-day. One of my major motivators in that regard was my acting career, but I’m feeling more and more lately like that’s over. I’m being over dramatic, of course (which makes sense…because…you know…acting), but it’s how it feels.

Anyway, I just wanted to put that update out here for the one or two people who may actually still be reading my blog now that I’m not really advertising it anywhere.