Those timed air fresheners in the bathroom.

Yes, I realize they are on a specific timer and that they go off on a regular interval regardless of whether or not anyone is actually IN the bathroom. Thing is, they always seem to go off when I’m in there, and every time it happens I get the feeling that the little bastard is specifically sanitizing against me. “Holy crap!” it seems to be saying. “Here comes Mike! Better make a pre-emptive anti-stink strike.”

Ahh technology – How you feed my paranoia.