I have been asked to explain my one word reaction to The Matrix Reloaded, which was “dissapointed.” I shall do so now.

The truth lies behind the cut, kids. Don’t take the red pill unless you’re ready to know what lies beyond it.

Follow The White Rabbit

My fingers itch.

Ok, so this isn’t tme most earth shattering news, but it’s pretty damned stressfull to me. I have this kind of excema something or other thing going on with my fingers. I got it pretty bad one of them during the production of Maxwell, and now it appears as though my decision to do another Jobsite show has led for another breakout. This one is on my thumb, right hand. I also have a small spot forming on the index finger (same hand) that was affected last year.

These outbreaks are unsightly, and generally a minor inconvenience. On occcasion, however, the skin will split as a result of the dryness that is caused as a result, and that has happened on my thumb.

It’s basically a paper cut.

In other words, it hurts like hell. Especially considering that I use my hands to work all day long.

Whee. Now that was sexy, wasn’t it kids?

I got my last paycheck from my previous employer today. Of course, it was screwed up. I had to argue with them last time that they were planning on taking too much money out of the last check in April for insurance, as it was the third payment in a month and acutally put me ahead of the yearly insurance cost game. It took me a good hour to convince the “accountant” there of this fact. Mind you, I came very close to switching my major to accounting at one point. The numbers were damned obvious to me, but he was being very pig headed about it. I figured my payment should be about eighty dollars off of the normal amount.

Once he realized that I was right, he just said he’d cut the payment in half an only charge me $105.

Ok. Not what I asked for, but I’m not complaining.

Well apparently ADP decided to take ANOTHER $105 out of today’s paycheck (which should have had no insurance payments on it).

So the accountant guy tells me I have two options. I can wait for another check on Friday, or I can get the $105 in two weeks.

I wrote a check for groceries at Super Wal-Mart last night, so the “waiting until Friday” option was unacceptable. So was waiting another two weeks for money that was mine.

Don’t mess with my money, people. I get cranky.

Needless to say, I got two checks today.

I’m currently waiting to hear from ross_winn to see if I’m going to be able to go see The Matrix Reloaded with the crew tonight. I didn’t think I’d be able to, so I didn’t have them get me a ticket, but it turns out that I’m going to be done with rehearsals around 8:00 tonight (in fact, I’m there so little that I am acutally sitting in the library near where we are rehearsaing using the internet enabled computers there to make this post). donwaughesq had to decline his invite, but Ross already offered the ticket to his daughter Whitney. I guess he still hasn’t been able to find her to see if she wants to go.

So I wait…with baited breath…

Even though I’ve heard several bad reviews of this movie so far.

Damnit.

As much as it sounds like bragging (and maybe to some extent it is) I need to rave about my job again. Both yesterday AND today my boss, in a fit of boredom, came and sat at my desk. We proceeded to talk for over an hour both times. This isn’t slacking, in my opinion. In fact, I’ve been working very hard and I know he does too. The fact is, though, this isn’t a high pressure enviornment. If we want to relax and get to know each other better for an hour or so, we have the luxury to do so.

God that’s nice.

Just stopping by the old place again stressed me out as I picked up on all the tension there. The receptionist breaking into tears in front of me over her frustration with the accountant, the mysterious problems the head programmer was telling me about that have all the customers screaming, the resentment that I felt them shooting towards Brian when he was telling me about the brand new Ford F250 of his that was sitting in front of the office. I was there for 20 minutes and it was 19 minutes and 30 seconds too long.

I can’t handle that kind of stress anymore. And now I don’t have to.

Well, I have fifteen minutes until I’m called at rehearsal, so I’m going to wrap this up now. I hope it was long enough for those of you who have been snapping at my heels for reading material. 🙂

Oh, as maladr1n did on his journal, I’d like to take a moment to ask you cats to make every effort you can to come see us in Cloud 9. It could be my last show for a while.

I’ll explain that one later. Let’s just say that my son isn’t too keen on the idea of me doing a show in a place that he thinks is haunted.

Just to shut ross_winn up.

Sheesh. You’d think I was here solely to amuse him.

Yesterday was my first in a long line of very, very long days. Truth is, it really wasn’t all that bad. I didn’t even start to get ravenously hungry until I got home from rehearsal. Of course, at that point I ate pretty much anything I could get my hands on. sigh Still can’t seem to get my healthy eating mood back on, and it’s starting to worry me. I do fine during the day. Drink my water and what not. But at night…ugh..

I suppose I could just start going to bed.

Now there’s a concept.

Got my new MacDill bank card in the mail yesterday, which means I’m one step closer to closing out my Bank of America accounts. I’ll wait until after I get my last paycheck from Silanta, though. I think I still have a few outstanding bills that have been written on that account.

Would love to write more, but I have to get in the shower. I thought of a ninja way to update my journal yesterday, which is almost kind of sad. I’ll probably do it.

I am in a very, very strange state of mind right now.

Everything is going very well for me. Things are finally in order. Life is looking up.

But I feel unsatisfied. I’m totally umotivated. The weight loss is starting to slip. I’ve gained 7 pounds in the last month. Can’t convince myself to get up in the morning to exercise, or to go to bed early enough so that isn’t so much of a struggle. I don’t want to go out. I don’t want to do…anything. Of course, this is coming right as I get ready to go into rehearsals for Cloud 9. I hope I can shake this attitude before then, or it’s going to be a very painful process.

I’ve been working on my lines. Doing ok with them, I suppose. Never tried to memorize all of my lines in a show before without having many rehearsals with the book in my hand. I find it awkward. I memorize a lot by repetition, and going over a scene again and again with my fellow actors helps me to do that. I don’t just remember my lines, but I remember what and how they say leading up to it. I have to do this now with just my voice in my head.

So yeah. Bit on the odd side.

Since I’ve been trying to stay away from the whole “random acts of sex” thing, I’ve suddenly found myself facing some things that, apparently, I was trying to hide from myself, and at a time when I’m feeling isolated for some reason I just want to pull further back into my shell.

And so it goes…

Apparently I’m having a movie night at my house next Sunday.

Amazing. Now the parties are planning themselves.

I actually have business cards for Neon Samurai now.

Weird.

Ok. So. My first day was…really boring.

Exceedingly so.

I spent most of it in training. Training that included some sort of video course geared towards tellers. All about cutsomer service. You know, because I’m going to be talking to SO many customers in my job. I did my best to stay awake. Even ate a few krispy kreme doughnuts. Didn’t really work, though.

Oh, but I found out something incredibly cool today. I knew that this company put 8% into retirement funds, but I thought it was matching. I was wrong. There are two different types of accounts. They put 5% into one, and 3% into another – regardless of how much you invest in them. So, even if I put NOTHING into those accounts, I’ll still get the equivalent of 8% of my gross income invested for me each year.

Can I say again how much I’m loving this job?

Well, today is the day. New job. New direction in life. Actually got up with the alarm (ok, two alarms and a wake up call from Verizon) this morning. Walked two miles. Getting ready to go smoke a cigarette and take a shower. Should be out of the house by 7. At work very early. This is a good thing.

While I was walking this morning, the song “Black” by Pearl Jam came across my head phones. I found that somewhat symbolic. I lost my virginity to that song. That started a new chapter in my life. So does the fact that I’m starting this job today.

Went to Sam’s birthday party yesterday. It was a simple gathering of some of Sam’s friends, sitting around eating and talking, and exactly what Sam wanted. I have to admit, surrounding yourself by your friends is truly a great way to celebrate your birthday. But my friends are allowed to bring me crap if they want to.

I played quite a bit of Everquest this weekend, and you know what? I don’t feel bad about it at all. I had a great time, and I didn’t spend money going out that I didn’t have (like I did on Friday night). I think the one serious advantage I see to a game like Everquest is that at the very least you are still being social. Sure, it’s sitting in your house by yourself social, but there ARE real people on the other side of the screen. Last night I got to hang out with Annie for a while in game. That was cool. We really haven’t talked much or played together since she came down to visit. Things got a little strange there for a few days after that, but we seem to be getting along well again. Hope that keeps up. I really enjoy her company.

I have, yet again, found the Tori Amos shirt I have been chasing after for almost two years now. I put a bid up on it last week. I set my max bid at 50 bucks. If someone is going to snipe me for more than that they can have the fucking thing. Yes, I know, that is a lot of money to spend on a concert t-shirt. But I had three shirts that I loved when I lost weight the first time. My Tori shirt, my Jello Biafra shirt, and my King Missle shirt. I have replaced the Jellol shirt. I still need to find the other two. It’s a very symbolic purchase. It’s like I see it as getting back everything I had before, and being prepared to move on from there. Except my hair. Don’t think that is coming back anytime soon.

Ok, it’s off to the shower for me. I’ll update when I get home!