What is your favorite restaurant?
The first answer that comes to mind is the now-closed GLC Café in the Atlanta Peachtree Center food court. They had the best felafel wrap I have ever had and I would eat there several times whenever I was in town for Dragon Con. Unfortunately it closed during the Pandemic and to say that fact bums me out would be a serious understatement.
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?
Sometimes I wonder about the net benefit of keeping this blog alive. There is a lot of history here, and for the most part it is a pretty accurate representation of the major events of my life over the last 25 years.
But do I really want all of that out there for the world to see?
This came to mind recently when someone we know casually googled my name, found my blog, and decided to use what they learned through that discovery to initiate an unwelcome and unexpected conversation with my wife over some of the events of our lives together.
I want to be clear in stating that I do not believe this was done with any kind of malicious intent, but it was an incredibly bad judgement call and just not good form. I’m fully aware that anyone can search for me, and that there are probably a decent number of people who know me personally who have, but I’ve always thought it was kind of an unwritten rule of the internet that you didn’t actually talk about that kind of thing. Especially when the subjects involved are clearly very personal.
But here we are.
While I’ve done my best over the years to make sure the content here won’t get me fired or embarrass anyone (other than me), who knows how things I wrote back in the early 00’s could come back to bite me in the ass now? Who knows how many times I wrote things that I would regret having people read who know me now and didn’t know me then?
I mean, the chances of really bad poetry happening are pretty high.
I’m not going to do anything about this immediately. Just thoughts going through my head.
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I recently wrapped up my first acting gig since 2022 with a performance in Trust Me at LAB Theater Project. To say that it was a satisfying return to the stage would be an understatement. Honestly? I thought there was a very real possibility that I may not have been able to act again. The fact is that I’m still very much recovering from my surgery last June. Don’t get me wrong – I have come a very, very long way and am in a notably better place than I was when I got home in August, but I still feel like I have a long way to go. My energy levels are still pretty low most days, and I haven’t been able to get the motivation back to start exercising again. I managed to make it through the rehearsal and performance process, but it was pretty rough.
Admittedly the solution to this is to get back to exercising to build up my strength and endurance, but one has to have energy to spend to do so and I’ve been very low on that front. I generally average 8 hours or more of decent sleep every night and I still feel like I need to take a nap every day just to get by. And if I’m being honest, just doing the show and having a slight uptick in physical activity from it made me feel better, so I really just need to get off my ass and do it.
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In other news, and in no particular order…
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I could probably go on but this is getting lengthy and I’m kind of just rambling for now. [insert promise to write here more often that will go unfulfilled]
Recovery has been more challenging than I expected. While I’ve made progress, there’s still a long road ahead. My strength and endurance aren’t what they used to be, and dealing with the aftermath of losing my gallbladder, a portion of my pancreas, and adjusting to new eating habits has been tough. Even the smell of certain foods can make me nauseous—a strange reminder of my time in the hospital.
But things are improving. I’ve started walking more and working with physical therapists, slowly rebuilding my muscles. Though I still struggle with low energy, the progress is undeniable, and I can see it every day. I’m also addressing lingering back issues with massage therapy after spending two months in uncomfortable hospital beds.
Mentally, the battle has been just as intense. Initially, I struggled with frustration, especially during nights in the hospital when I was overwhelmed by misery. There were times I wanted to leave against medical advice, but I pushed through. Now that I’m home, I’ve left that phase behind. Although there are still hard days, they’re rare. For the most part, I’m just grateful to be alive and optimistic about the future.
Despite this optimism, I had initially hoped that once discharged, I’d snap back to my old self. That hasn’t been the case, but I’m learning to accept that it’s a process. What excites me most is that Lisa and I are now making long-term plans without fear of cancellation, and I’m even hoping to get back on stage in the first half of next year.
I’m not where I want to be yet, but I’m getting closer every day.
Apologies for the lack of updates in the last week or so. I’ve been readjusting to life at home and getting things settled back here and just haven’t had the occasion to sit down and fill everyone in on what’s been happening. On that note, this is going to be my last password protected update about the cancer situation. Which, really, is a good thing. There’s not much to tell.
I got home late Sunday night (the 28th). The ride home was a bit of an adventure. We decided before I went into the hospital that we’d get a transport service to bring me home. While we were in the hospital we asked social services to help us arrange that. What we thought we were getting was a private ambulance. What we ended up getting was a van that holds a stretcher driven by two guys with no medical background whatsoever (one of whom was on his fourth day and the other spoke absolutely no English, which was fine with me but his non-Spanish speaking partner was having some issues with it). The ride was uneventful, even somewhat interesting (they took a route through some really wild small towns in the Everglades area that I had no idea existed), but by the time we got home I was very much done with that adventure. Fortunately, Lisa left Miami several hours before I did and she had the house ready for my return, so really all I had to do was walk in the door and go straight to bed.
I have spent the last week or so recuperating around the house. I’m seeing a wound doctor here in St. Pete to monitor the progress on the part of my incision that they had to open during my stay in the hospital, and that is healing well. I also have a home health nurse coming out twice a week to replace my dressing for the vacuum device that is keeping the wound dry. I’ve had follow-up appointments with my endocrinologist and will be seeing my primary care physician soon. My endurance is increasing, and I’m able to move about for longer periods without getting winded. I’m learning how to eat again with my new and improved smaller stomach and lack of pancreatic enzymes, and I think I’ve finally gotten to a point where I can do so without getting stomach cramps (I’m now officially in the “eat small meals throughout the day instead of one big meal” club). I’ve also dropped most, if not all, of the water weight that I brought home from the hospital (I was 268 pounds when I got home…I’m 230 now, which is about where I was when I went in but I suspect my “actual” weight is going to be lower and I’ll see some more water weight shed off this week).
All in all, things are very good. I’m sleeping better, eating better, more mobile and in less pain. I’m incorporating more of my daily activities back into my life, and I’m looking forward to continuing to do so. I haven’t had to worry about pretty much anything other than healing because Lisa has been making sure that nothing falls through the cracks and I have everything I need, just like she has throughout this entire process.
Thanks for caring and reading and your comments over the last two months. I didn’t respond to hardly any of them, but I read them and took comfort in knowing there were people who cared and were invested in a positive outcome on my part.
We are heading home.
Everything finally fell into place today and we should be heading out in the next few hours.
There is a lot more to tell, but for now that is the important news.
57 days…
Not much to say, really. Other than we are very frustrated.
As I said yesterday, I am cleared to go home. The home nursing was approved by insurance and was the last hurdle to jump. Problem is, we cannot find a home nursing service that will come to the house once a day a to, essentially, look at a dressing.
Social services is working with my doctor to see if he will change the order. In the meantime Lisa and I did some research and there are several outpatient wound care facilities in St. Petersburg that should be able to do the appropriate maintenance on me going forward.
I am not optimistic that this will be resolved tomorrow, but…Maybe Monday?
I am very sick of maybe.
It has been a roller coaster of a day.
I am, essentially, discharged from the hospital. I have the equipment I need to take home with me, my IV meds have been switched to oral, and my insurance company has approved the home nurse to tend to my wound vac.
But that is where the road block occurred. The nurse will have to visit within 48 hours of my return home. Lisa has been working with the social workers to find a service that can accommodate that, but so far nobody can. So until they do? I am here.
While the social workers do work over the weekend, I cannot help but feel as though they are not going to find anyone before Monday.
To say I am bummed out would be an understatement.
Still, home is a matter of days at this point instead of weeks, so I can manage through a few more.
“I want to get you out of here on Saturday.”
A quote from my doctor this afternoon. I think he is being optimistic but we shall see. We are still waiting for the home health care items to be approved but realistically I can go home without most of them and let them sort out the orders next week.
Had a final CT scan today and all the fluid collections in my abdomen are gone. I still have extreme edema which should start to go away when I can exercise more (getting walks in here has been a challenge).
I still have a lot of recovery to do but if all goes well I can start doing that at home very, very soon.
Insurance continues to be a road block. After the peer-to-peer meeting they had yesterday my team is not convinced that they will approve the acute rehab. Lisa filed a personal appeal this morning but it seems highly unlikely I will be going to the rehab center.
So my team has started the process of getting me home, where I will have to go to outpatient therapy and have a home nurse come visit to help with IV meds (if they send them home with me) and the wound vacuum.
Best case scenario a decision will be made one way or another by Friday and I will be coming home before the weekend. If it doesn’t, I will almost certainly be here through the weekend.
They are finally moving me off of the ICU and to a private room on the medical floor. I will have more freedom of mobility there (in the ICU you have to stay connected to monitors 24/7), and will hopefully be able to sleep better.
I am frustrated, but thankful that I should be out of here in some fashion in the next week.