So, celestialaddict came down to spend the weekend with me. She summed it all up pretty well on her journal, so I’m not going to rehash the events here. Just want to touch a bit on my feelings on the subject.

I’ve been called a fickle person in the past. I’ve been told that I didn’t know what I wanted, and that as a result I would never find it. I’ve had a lot of relationships in the time since Jody left me, and I will admit that at times I rushed from one person to the next and never seemed to pause in between.

So, of course, nobody is going to believe me when I say she is different.

But she is.

I used to have a mental laundry list of qualities I was looking for in a partner. The list has been added to and amended time and time again, but there have been many things that were constants on it.

She has met every one of them.

jiltos once told me that “everyone we hang out with would find something of value at Dragon Con. Even if it meant that they would spend the whole weekend making fun of everyone.”

I met her at Dragon Con.

We were joking around about open relationships and what not. She said to me “There can be only one.”

She quoted The Highlander at me, damnit.

She started quoting a King Missile song in the car on Saturday. I hardly know anyone who could name a King Missile song other than “Detachable Penis.”

Every time I think I know that we’re compatible, she pulls something out of herself that makes her even better.

The distance is…horrible. It keeps getting worse. The longer we’re together, the harder it is to say goodbye. It’s worth it, though. It’s worth it to know that there is someone out there who compliments me as well as she does. Someone who has, from the way it looks, gotten along with all of my friends as quickly as she does.

Like I wrote after I first met her, back in August, she just seemed to fit from the beginning.

Every time I started to date someone after Dragon Con, Karen would ask me “Are you sure you’re ready to give up everyone else? Like Robin?”

She mentioned Robin every time.

Did she know? Because I didn’t. I knew she was cool. I knew I found her attractive. But…beyond that. I didn’t realize it. At least, if I did, I didn’t admit it to myself.

In other developments…

I was talking to Karen about the whole financial situation last night. About how I went crazy after I got hired at Stone Ground. And I did. I got a raise of about 14 thousand dollars by switching jobs. I was making more money than I had any point in my life. I had good credit, and a good income. So I went overboard. I got a debt consolidation credit card, transferred 6 grand on to it, and then proceeded to turn around and run all those credit cards back up again. Now I’m living with the consequences of that.

I didn’t lose it all, however.

That’s what Karen pointed out to me.

I got a lot of stuff, and did many things to make my life better. I still have all of that stuff. I have managed, through the help of my friends and by tightening my belt. I’m surviving, and I’m doing it well.

It’s all a matter of perspective.

You are beconed by a stranger
to follow them down a dark alleyway.
Created by Night-Red

Man, those shnitzengruben will really wipe a brother out.

Quick question – I’m thinking of starting an ezboard community as part of my site redesign and as a place for all my different online friends to converge (I have posted about this in the past). I was kinda stuck on a name, though. I’m thinking maybe something agriculture like (to go along with the “Uncle Critus’ Farm” theme from when I had a show on Night Raven Radio). Maybe The Orange Grove or The Compost Heap. Not sure though. Shouldn’t even be up and thinking right now. In fact, I’m going back to bed.

Byeee.

celestialaddict has a new picture in her live journal.

Ahhh.

She’s so purty.

Anyway…

I got this incredible headache last night. It happens very, very infrequently which means it probably isn’t as bad as it felt, but I’m not used to them. It lasted for about 4 hours, through a Tiger Cubs meeting. That was fun. Nothing like a room full of screaming kids to make a headache better.

I wonder, sometimes, why I let little things that my son does get to me so much. He’s a good kid. No, he’s beyond a good kid. He’s pretty much an angel. Does what he is told, when he is told. Doesn’t talk back. Doesn’t have bad manners. None of the things that would normally drive a parent nuts.

But last night he kept taking his shoe off.

I told him not to do it. He did it again. This kept going on throughout the meeting. It’s not the first time this has happened, either. I’ve had this running thing with him since he got these shoes. He also does the same thing when he is wearing a jacket and it’s cold out. He pulls it down off his shoulders, I tell him to put it back on. Five minutes later it’s off his shoulders.

And I get angry.

Not annoyed.

Not frustrated.

Angry.

I don’t understand why. Am I that much of a perfectionist? Am I that rigid in my ways that I cannot tolerate the least bit of absent minded behavior from my son?

Now maybe last night I got worse because of the fact that I had such a horrible headache. It’s certainly a possibility. And before you all start asking, no I did not yell at him or lose my temper. I closed my eyes, made an effort to relax, and kissed him on the forehead. Proceeded to work with him on his scrap book and it passed. I did, however, tell him that I didn’t want him wearing those shoes anymore. He got a brand new pair for Christmas and I want him to start wearing those. They won’t come off as easily. He tells me that he doesn’t realize he is taking them off, so I’m going to ease my frustrations by having him wear shoes that don’t slip off his feet.

Those shoes are damned dirty anyway.