So what is your live journal for?

I got in a conversation with a friend recently, who expressed to me that he thought Live Journal was one of the most evil creations on the face of the planet. He is not the first person I have seen express this opinion. The first time I heard this was at Dragon Con last year. A woman on the Live Journal panel named girlvinyl stated it pretty clearly. It’s all that is on her journal at this point, but if you don’t feel like clicking over I’ll repeat it here :

How would you conduct yourself, if there was no live journal? What things would you have been spared if you did not read or write in live journal? How much time would you reclaim from your life if you did not obsess over live journal? How many friendships would still be in tact if there were no live journal? How many misunderstandings would have been avoided if there were no live journal? How many trusts would have been kept, loyalties preserved and harmonies enjoyed were you not to live part of your life through this vengeful, gossipy, bullshit public forum? Friends lists, comments, posts, private, public, disallow comments, disallow anonymous, log ip addresses, backdate entry. Its disheartening to see a convenient technology be the means for broken relationships. Disagree with me if you like, but take a moment and really think about how its affected you, or the people you have relationships with. Intention is irrelevant in this medium, all that matters is perception. If you have something to say to someone… call them, write them, go fucking see them. Don’t hide behind a user pic, general disclaimers and an html generator. Grow a spine you weak fucks.

So my question is, are they right?

What are we here for?

I’ve been thinking about it quite a bit, and the closest I can relate it to is gun ownership. Guns aren’t evil. Guns don’t kill people. Guns can be good things. They can be fun. They can also be deadly, if put in the wrong hands.

I think Live Journals are the same way.

I’m not going to lie here, or pretend to be something I’m not. I’ve used my journal as a weapon. I’ve posted things here that hurt others. Things that should have remained private. I’ve put things in my journal that, if it got back to who it was written about, would cause serious repercussions in my life. I’ve done many of the things that could be considered “evil” in live journal land.

But it’s not all I do, and at the end of the day I’m not writing this for anyone but me. I had my journal for years before there was such a thing as Live Journal. I had mine when I had 60 hits, not 6000.

Do I want people to read my journal?

Of course I do.

If I didn’t, all of my posts would be private.

I’m an exhibitionist. I’m a showman. Ever since I was a child I wanted to be the center of attention. So in Live Journal I have found a way to do that. I put my thoughts, my feelings, my pointless drivel that I think sounds important but probably sounds really pathetic, and little glimpses of my life here. For myself. For my son. For my friends.

But I cannot ignore how “dangerous” that Live Journal can be. I cannot continue to mindlessly post things without thinking about who could see it. So if there are fewer posts about my relationships or people who get under my skin on my public journal, I do apologize for that. But I know what my intention was when I started this thing, and hurting people was never that intention.

What was yours?

Rent is playing this weekend at Ruth Eckerd Hall.

Of course, I’m broke until next Wednesday.

ARRRGGGHHH

Today is going to be a long day. I can tell already. There are times at work when I feel like I’m out of my skull. My eyes feel like they are going to bug out of my head, my ears are kind of closed up and everything seems slightly unreal. I’d say it was like claustrophobia, but I don’t know what claustrophobia is like, so there you go. It might have something to do with my glasses. I really need to get my eyes checked and get a few new pair of glasses. These have to be at least 4 years old, if not older. They don’t fit my head properly anymore at all, and I always feel like my eyes are open too wide when I use them. Of course, my eyes have relaxed to a point where I can no longer effectively use a computer without them. Things are just too blurry.

There was something else I wanted to write about.

Oh! I finally finished American Gods last week. What an absolutely amazing book. I’ve always been impressed by Neil Gaiman’s storytelling abilities, but this book went above and beyond anything of his I had read in the past. There were parts of it that were troubling to me, as I’ve talked about before, but that was part of my overall enjoyment of the book in the end. I felt that I could relate to some of what Shadow went through. At least emotionally. Not really sure I can relate to running around with Gods. If you haven’t had the pleasure of reading any of his work, I highly recommend this and Good Omens (a book he wrote with Terry Pratchett). Then if you’re feeling really adventuresome you can read some of his Sandman comics from D.C.

In the music front, I’m all about the new Linkin Park album Reanimation. It’s a remix album, and I’m generally not so thrilled about them, but the things they did with the songs from Hybrid Theory really fall more into the category of reimagining. The remix of Crawling is by far the best track on the album, and it gives me goosebumps every time I hear it. Can you say haunting? I knew you could. Reminds me a lot of a friend of mine who is going through some serious depression at the moment.

And one final pop culture thingy here – Can I be even more excited after seeing all the movie trailers during the super bowl? I think not.

My city is steeped in madness at the moment.

I sat on my back porch after the game, listening to the sounds of a community unified in the spirit of celebration. I hear fireworks and car horns. I hear people laughing. I here singing. I’d be willing to bet the game had somewhere between a 90-95 Nielsen share here (the NFC Championship game had an 80 share).

Essentially, it is chaos.

I hope we keep our cool and that there isn’t any rioting. I really don’t think we are that kind of community, but you never really know. I can guarantee you that Gasparilla next weekend will be utter and complete chaos.

My reaction is quite sedate in contrast.

I’m not sure what exactly it is that I’m feeling. Part of me doesn’t really believe it’s true. I’ve been a Bucs fan since I was in preschool. My mother and father brainwashed me into becoming an entirely different creature when I watch the Bucs. I scream and holler and swear and my friends think that I’m going to have a coronary.

But here. Tonight. I’m kind of numb to it. I don’t feel the elation that I thought I would. (ahhh…watching the news…fight near the stadium…hope it wasn’t bad)

Maybe winning isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Or maybe I’m just tired.

34-3?

And it isn’t over yet?

My god.