Describe a man who has positively impacted your life.

This kind of question is complicated for me. My father left home when I was very young, and while I have fond memories of him because of our interactions when I was in my twenties, he really did not have much of a positive impact on my life.

Then there was Dick, the man my mother spent over two decades with but who never got off his ass and married her. My feelings about Dick are complicated, but I will give him credit for trying. He came into my life when I was a rebellious teenager and did his best to “whip me into shape,” but most of his efforts were not only ineffective but had the opposite impact on me (I rebelled more).

In between the two, though…We had a very odd extended family during those years. My Mother was a bartender, and she built a village around us of “aunts” and “uncles” who all contributed in some way to trying to help her raise her kids. Make no mistake, these were hard-drinking party people who, for the most part, would have made horrible full-time parents. As a collective, though, they helped form a community around us that was loving and warm and full of joy. When I think of “family” I think of these people. I only think of my biological family in terms of the events they came to with my “real” family.

An example – The one Christmas tradition I miss the most is Christmas breakfast. Mom opened her house to the tribe, and spent the entire morning cooking as they wandered through. It was amazing. Laughter and good food and (of course) plenty of Bloody Mary’s. That was Christmas.

During this time a lot of men helped to step in and be “father” figures for me. Taking me on camping trips, helping with school projects, talking to me about “guy” things. That kind of stuff.

The man who made the biggest impact on me during that time was Jack Chinn. He was a standard member of that group. Hard drinking, chain smoking, partying so hard he put himself into an early grave.

But he was also a big geek. And he recognized me as one of his own.

Jack gave me my first copies of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings trilogy,

I do not remember which birthday it was, but definitely in my early teen years. He told me at the time to read The Hobbit but to hold off on the others until I was older (he was dead on about that…it was not until I was much older that I could truly appreciate the other novels). Jack opened my eyes to a whole new world, and there was no turning back.

Jack also took me to see Flash Gordon. He exposed me to many different genres of science fiction and fantasy. His influence sparked an interest in Dungeons and Dragons, and my love of role-playing drew a direct line to my acting career.

Amusingly, I stumbled across his Gor novels at one point. Thankfully, he quickly steered me away from THOSE (I found them on my own when it was age-appropriate for me to do so).

There are a lot of men who had impact on my life, but Jack was one of the standouts. I miss him, and wish I could have gotten to know him better as an adult and friend, but as one of my many father figures he was damn near the best.