…It’s been a while. Where should we begin?
Ok, I own up to it. I’ve utterly and completely neglected my personal blog because I’m all over social networking and any time I feel like expressing my thoughts, feelings, or what is going on in my life I do so using 140 characters or less.
Wheew. There, I said it. Acceptance is the first step towards recovery, is it not?
Although I’m not entirely certain I really WANT to recover.
Image courtesy of adamr.stone via flickr.
Alex approached me as I was getting ready for bed last night to tell me that his blood glucose level was low. This was, quite honestly, a bit of a shocker considering how much food we had eaten over at our friend Kari’s house during the course of the day. I realized, though, that I’d had him take his evening shot of insulin when we got home and that he hadn’t eaten anything since so it made sense. It was just weird. In any case I told him that he could go ahead and make himself something to eat because I was about to literally pass out in my chair and I was not in the mood to stay up and cook something for him.
“Oooh!,” he says to me, “I’ll fry up some fish!”
Alex got a deep fryer for Christmas. He didn’t get it from me, and when I saw it on the list of things that he wanted for Christmas that he passed on to his Grandmother I specifically told her that she did not have to go out of her way to get it for him. She did, though, and now he’s the proud owner of a Sensio 13401 Bella Cucina 3-1/2-Liter Stainless-Steel Deep Fryer. While I must admit that having a deep fryer is pretty much the height of awesome if you’re a teenager and you like to cook, this item concerns me for a number of reasons. The obvious one is, of course, the fact that I’m overweight and have had two strokes and fried foods are really not good for me. On top of that, though, I have that whole parent fear of him burning himself while using it or burning down our house (or both). This is an irrational fear, and I am aware of it, but that doesn’t stop me from having it. Like me, the boy is silly and can be highly irresponsible, but as a general rule he takes himself pretty seriously when he’s cooking and he’s never given me a reason to think that he’d do something stupid that would result in injury to person or property.
Editor’s Note – As part of my work with The Artist’s Way I am occasionally required to complete certain assignments that are intended to help me discover the things that have me “blocked” as an artist. Unlike the daily exercise of completing 3 pages of long hand in a journal these stories do not, necessarily, have to be private. As such I figured that since I was writing this anyway I’d go ahead and put some actual content in this journal for a change instead of letting it fester here unused. Please understand, though, that what I am writing is not necessarily going to be a rational take on my experiences or any kind of plea for help. On the contrary, these entries are actually part of a conscious effort to improve myself and my self-worth.
I have been asked to describe one of the “monsters” from my past that has held me back as an artist. I really had to think hard about this because, frankly, I’ve had more support than not in my quest to be an artist. After thinking about it for a while I did manage to come up with my three, and here are the details on one of them…
Yeah, August was insane. This is the first weekend in a long time that I’ve been able to pretty much just chill out at home and not do much of anything. Unfortunately, for some reason, I had a monkey wrench thrown in that last night with a bout of nausea that turned into vomiting. I have NO idea what happened there. The only thing I can think is that I ate a few Weight Watchers quesadilla’s after doing a 50 minute workout with EA SPORTS Active. Regardless of why I got ill, a few hours after I was sick I felt fine and seem to be peachy keen again today.
Ok, yeah. I started this post talking about puke. Where the hell do I go from here?
We’ve wrapped up another Dragon*Con, and all told I think it was a pretty smashing success. We have some thing we want to improve on for next year for sure, but considering the monumental task we attempted to achieve I feel good about the work we did. On my day off I hit the dealer rooms and picked up some new snarky shirts. I also got my kilt belt re-sized (That was a nice ego boost in and of itself. The leather worker took a big chunk off of the belt to make it fit properly). I saw some good friends, had a chance to see the William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy panel, and I got to hang out for a few minutes with Felicia Day backstage before her panel on Monday morning (and yes, if you’re wondering, she’s just as nice and funny as you’d expect her to be).
On the weight front I had the satisfaction of knowing that when I left for the convention I was two pounds less than I was when I went to my first one back in 2002. I noticed a few ladies giving me the once over, and had one woman make what was (to Krystalle) a very obvious pass at me. Me? I continue my long-standing tradition of being fairly clueless in that regard and thought she was just being funny when she told me I should find someone to cover for my shift so I could come over to the Marriott at midnight to “get blown.” She was referring to Jennie Breeden’s annual kilt-blowing get together, but the directness and the way she said it apparently meant more.
I have to be told these things, you see.
Speaking of kilts – I wore my utilikilt the entire weekend, mostly because a) it makes me look good and b) it is probably going to be the last year I’m able to wear this particular kilt. It’s getting very loose at this point. Before I had my belt re-sized on Friday I thought it might actually fall off. Mind you, I’m not complaining about the fact that I’m losing weight at all. Utilikilts are expensive, though!
In other health related news I have purchased a shiny new pair of running shoes with gift cards I got through the Virgin Healthmiles program and tomorrow I’m going to start training to run a 5k. Like pull ups, running is something that my weight has always thrown up a barrier to, and it is time I knocked that barrier down. The 5k I have picked out takes place about 2 weeks after my 37th birthday, and I think that would be a delightful way to ring in the start of my next trip around the sun.
Can’t really say I have much more interesting to say at the moment. Alex and I have started rehearsals for Night of the Living Dead. I’m playing the free to play Dungeons and Dragons Online as well as Kingdom of Loathing. Now that convention season is done sticking our heads back in the sand financially and working on paying down some more debt. I still have my job, and while our company is doing everything they can to cut costs we’re still not cutting benefits or employees. All in all, life is still pretty good on my end.
Exciting? Maybe not. But adventure? Excitement? A Jedi seeks not these things.
And on that extremely nerdy note I bid you adieu.
My son suffers from diabetes. A little over a year ago he went into a state known as diabetic ketoacidosis. He almost went into a coma and if we had not gotten him to a hospital there is a good chance he could have died. When he got out of the hospital he was told to follow up with his specialist, so I called to make an appointment. The earliest I could take my son in to see his specialist was four months later.
I have been using Prevacid for years to control my acid reflux. A condition that, if let unchecked, can lead to Barret’s esophagus and, subsequently, cancer. This is the condition that killed my Father. When my insurance providers switched at the beginning of the year I was told that my medical provider would no longer cover Prevacid, the medication my doctor wanted me to be on, and that I had to switch to Aciphex.
I have also been using Metrogel for years to control my Rosacea. Recently my insurance provider decided they would no longer pay for that medication either and I had to switch to another one.
There is no generic equivalent available for the type of insulin my son has to take for his diabetes and my insurance provider considers it non-formulary. That ONE medication of his is $60 per month. This does not include his other insulin, his needles, or his test strips. There IS a generic equivalent of his second type of insulin, but it does not work as well and we will be switching back to the non-forumlary kind after his next appointment with his endocrinologist.
Alex had a problem throwing baseballs and was diagnosed with a condition called little league shoulder. My insurance company would only pay for about half of the visits that his physical therapist suggested. After we had run out of therapy his condition still persisted and he still cannot properly throw a baseball without causing himself some pain. At this point we’re holding on to hope that he will grow out of it.
Should I go on?
All of you people who think this shit only happens in countries where they have “socialized medicine” are fooling yourselves. Insurance companies get in the way of you and your doctor all the time. They deny treatments. They deny medications. They tell you what doctors you can and cannot see, even if said doctors have huge waiting lists.
Is socialized medicine better? Damned if I know. What I DO know is that all this bullshit being spouted about how there is nobody between you and your doctor right now is a bunch of lies.
I started writing this post a few days ago. I figure I’ll just go ahead and append on the end of it with the understanding that, perhaps, my head space is a bit different than it was when I first began this ramble.
Not only do I feel the need to break up the utter and complete monotony of posting nothing but my workouts here, I also have a compulsion to simply talk about a few things. Get some stuff out of my head and out there in the ether as it were. As a result this may end up being an incoherent post at times, so I apologize in advance.
30 Minutes Treadmill at 4 MPH (5 minutes no incline, 1 minute at 6% incline alternating)
5×5 Vertical Chest Press – 100 pounds
5×5 Pectoral Fly – 100 pounds
5×5 Rear Deltoid Fly – 70 pounds
5×5 Shoulder Press – 80 pounds
18 Minutes EA SPORTS Active
65 Minutes Treadmill at 4 MPH (5 minute intervals on level surface followed by 1 minute intervals at 6% incline)
Assisted Pull Up – 190 pound counterweight (5 sets of 5)
Pulldown – 80 pounds (5 sets of 5)
Dumbbell Rows – 25 pounds (5 sets of 5)
Bicep Curls – 25 pounds (5 sets of 5)
100 Pushup Challenge – Week Two, Column 1, Set 1 (4-6-4-4-8)
200 Situp Challenge – Exhaustion Test (80)
I have decided to re-boot my situp challenge paying close attention to form and allowing the full one second hold time on the crunch. While I can still do 80 I’m not getting 200 in at this point methinks.
As supplied by the folks over at Gallup…
Instinctively, you understand the utility that technology can bring to an organization and are always looking for the best equipment and the best ways to use that equipment. In addition to your technical expertise, you possess social and emotional talents that are often rare in the information technology field. Socially initiating and verstaile, your primary social instinct is to intentionally expand the breadth of your social network as you are comfortable and effective in meeting new people. Possessing high levels of emotional intelligence, your empathy gives you a strong awareness of human emotions that helps you to understand the emotional implications of decisions and actions. Your positivity contributes to your emotional intelligence as it enables you to be emotionally influential. You have a natural capacity for helping others to feel better. While some might ignore or minimize the value of human emotion, your possess a holistic view of humans and a view of the world that places a high value on all human beings.
I’d be interested to hear how accurate you all feel that is.
I grew up watching Bob Keeshan play Captain Kangaroo. I don’t remember the show vividly to be completely honest. I believe I had moved on to bigger and better things by the time I started forming real memories. My memories of the show are more impressions than anything else. I found a quote from Keeshan this morning, though, that indicates he may have at least somewhat influenced the person who I became as an adult.
The responsibility of parents is to raise children who do not need parents.
When my son is an adult I want him to not need me anymore. I want him to call me or shoot me an email every once in a while to let me know what is going on in his life, hell maybe even every day if he feels like it, but I want him to lead his life on his own. I want him to face the challenges life throws at him on his own two feet, and when life knocks him on his ass I want him to get back up again on his own. If he can’t I want him to know he can always call on me to help but I want that to be the aboslute last thing he would do – not the first. Not because I will make him feel like shit about it, but becuase he doesn’t WANT to get help from anyone else to solve his problems.
I have, in the last few weeks, seen two very different examples of how bad it is for adults to rely on their parents to get them through life and I can’t have that for Alex.