Are We Really Supposed To Take LiveJournal Seriously?

A friend of mine asked a question similar to this recently, and it got me to thinking yet again about the subject of internet communication. I have visited this topic on several occasions before, and it’s not without some level of amusement that I find my own personal feelings on the subject seem to change based on circumstances and time. This might even make me sound like a hypocrite on occasion, and I’m fully aware of that. Like much in life, though, this isn’t something that really has a clear black and white distinction, so I’m not uncomfortable with the fact that my stance could at times appear to be a hazy one.

This kind of question comes around most often when someone has taken offense at the behavior of an individual on the net. The response, normally from the offending party, is one of disdain and mockery. The thought process seems to be that the internet is, basically, one big joke. If you get upset by something you see here, you should go outside more. Thus, the only people who take the internet seriously are losers who have no social life.

Maybe at one point this was true, but I really don’t think it is anymore. Whether you realize it or not, the internet has grown to something that, in one way or the other, manages to touch our lives every single day. It has become so important that colleges now include the financing of a new computer into student loans. There are government programs in the works (and perhaps even implemented) to provide free or reduced cost high speed internet access to welfare recipients. Entire corporations (MySQL, AB for one) are housed entirely online, with all of their employees telecommuting on their own schedules. Yes, there is still a lot of fluff out there. Yes, the biggest online industry continues to be pornography. The fact remains, however, that in 2006 we are all part of the internet age. Even if an individual is not an active member of the online world, their lives are in some way touched by what goes on there. With that being the case, is it really fair to say that communicating online is a joke?

Of course, there is the anonymity factor. There is a classic Pennny Arcade strip explaining this phenomenon, which they call the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory. The logic, as detailed in that comic, is simple. Take a normal person, give them the illusion of anonymity and an audience, and watch them turn into a total fuckwad. People say and do things online that they would never dream of doing in “real life,” largely because it would get them in a great deal of trouble (i.e., they would get their asses kicked). Perhaps part of this stems from the fact that, for perhaps the first time in the history of mankind, young people have an outlet for expression that puts them on equal (and at times higher) ground with their elders. In the past, in order to get a forum for people to listen to your words you had to have some influence or importance, both of which usually came with age and experience. With the internet, anyone and everyone can find a way in which their words can be read by scores of people. Unfortunately, though, because this level of access has not been earned, the intellectual and emotional maturity that is necessary to keep the attention of an audience is lacking. In this kind of situation, an attention starved individual tends to start doing whatever is necessary in order to get the feedback they so desperately crave, and the end result is fuckwad behavior. When they are called on this they reference back to my original point and how the internet is a medium you aren’t supposed to take seriously.

But is anonymity really a factor anymore? To an extent it is, yes, because if you really wanted to be anonymous on the web you could easily create false email accounts and blog names to remove any trace of who you really are, but from a technological standpoint it’s really becoming quite difficult to truly remain anonymous on the net. Don’t believe me? Set up some false email accounts and use them to send an email to the white house with a bomb threat attached to it. I guarantee you within a few hours you’ll have some well dressed gentlemen at your door step who would be more than happy to explain how IP tracking works to you. If anything, the internet has made me realize that the cheesy song is dead on, and that it really IS a small world. I have met many people online who have ended up being connected to me through “meatspace” in one manner or other, even though our meeting had nothing to do with that common connection. With the popularity of services like Livejournal and MySpace, we’re all being drawn even closer together. The people who are reading your words are likely, at some point, to actually come face to face with you – or someone who has.

This being the case, is it really that strange for people to use these forums as a “screening” process to determine if an individual is someone they want to associate with? As my long time platonic life mate good_eeevening has said on many occasions, once you put your thoughts and feelings in words where others could possibly read them you own them, and you have only yourself to blame if the net result of those words being read is a negative one. If you choose to use this forum to only present the less appealing aspects of your personality, can you really blame someone who does not know you outside of it from assuming that it is all you are?

My current boss reads reads my livejournal on a fairly regular basis, and has done so since before he hired me. He did a google search on my name when he got my application, found my blog, and did some reading. Fortunately for me, there was nothing he read that gave him pause in hiring me. In fact, I believe the opposite was the case. Generally speaking when I actually “write” in this blog I attempt to divest as much of my genuine self into my words as I can, and because I did so my boss saw the characteristics he was looking for in a new hire. This simple little blog, because I made the decision to use it in what I felt to be a responsible manner, helped me land the best job I have held in my entire professional career to date. My Mother reads my blog, as do my three sisters. I try, as a result, to conduct myself here in a manner that is respectful to my audience. In this case, not only my online friends but my family and my boss as well.

You may be thinking to yourself that this is not relevant to you, but…are you sure? How do you know? I have, over the course of the years, been surprised on numerous occasions to learn who knew about my blog and checked up on it regularly. You might put everything you write behind a friends tag, but how do you know someone isn’t copying those words and sending them to someone else? How do you know the people on your friends list are who they really say they are for that matter. Anyone can create a live journal or myspace account, attach a fake picture to it, and create a whole new identity exclusively for the purpose of keeping tabs on you.

Would you be hired for a job if a potential employer read your blog?

Would you be comfortable with your mother reading your blog?

I was, and I am.

The way that a person chooses to present themselves online is not the only factor in determining who they are, but it is not inconsequential. More and more frequently, it is becoming the first step in determining whether or not you want to get to know a person better. If all you choose to present to the outside world is the bad stuff, there will be people who keep you at arms length as a result. If ALL donwaughesq did, for example, was talk about how he wanted to beat people with hockey sticks people would naturally not be inclined to be around him (especially at hockey games). Because he presents many aspects of his personality, though, we come to understand that’s just his way of expressi
ng frustration verbally. We’ve read about his tender moments with barnabyq, and been inspired by his determination in the face of severe health problems. He has given us a taste of who he really is, so we are not scared of being the victims of blunt force trauma to the head.

I don’t have quite the idealistic view of livejournal as a conduit for communication that people like nickdangerous and prynne have. I don’t automatically associate everyone on my “friends” list as a true friend, and I do often treat this as more of a reading service than anything else. That being said, however, I do believe that it IS a potential powerful means of communication, and I try to conduct myself here accordingly. I am not anonymous here. My face and my name are out here for the world to see, and my blog in many ways is a representation who I am. I have made genuine connections with people here. Hell, I met my other half here! If used properly, services like this can be amazing conduits for human interaction, and a fabulous way to network and make real connections to people.

It’s really all up to the individual.

So to answer the original question for those of you who don’t have the time or inclination to read my long and wordy post – Ae we really supposed to take Livejournal seriously?

Yes.

All the salty Margaritas in Los Angeles, and I'm gonna drink 'em up

I find myself uncharacteristcally depressed today.

I suppose it doesn’t help that I had a horrible dream last night about my mother getting and dying from cancer. It was incredibly detailed and graphic, and it was long. This wasn’t one of those five minutes of ugly dreams – it pretty much lasted all night, and it had me very disoriented when I woke up this morning. So much so that I thought K.’s alarm clock going off was mine, and that I had to get up to go to work. I couldn’t figure out why the alarm clock wouldn’t shut off though, despite my repeatedly hitting the buttons. By the time I figured it out I was awake, and while I went back to sleep after the residue of the dream and the general mind haze from the incorrect assumption that it was a work day made it nearly impossible for me to fall fully asleep again.

The net result of all this is that I’m just…blah today. The things that normally would slide off my back are kind of persisting, and I’m just down. I really wanted to just relax today and play some Warcraft, but even that is wearing a little thin. One of the guilds we are allies with seems to be having some major turmoil recently, and our raids with them have suffered as a result. We’ve been trying to work a little harder on our own progression in guild, but can’t seem to get more than seven people on at a time to work on a dungeon called Upper Blackrock Spire. As a result, we can only get the first half of it done. I’m proud of that accomplishment, but I know we could finish it if we could all just find a time that worked for us. Some other guild posted today on our server forums about a Friday night Molten Core alliance, but I worry that if we express an interest in that we’ll alienate the folks who we’ve been working with outside of our guild. In a similar vein, I started using a new method of loot distribution in guild last night, and while I believe that it’s a solid method it’s going to take a while to get used to it and frustration from the players as we experiment is obvious.

I really want to go see Superman Returns in the worst way. It’s silly for that to be a source of depression for me, but there it is. I’m actually down because I haven’t seen a stupid movie.

My nephew wants to go into the Army. Let me correct that – he wants to go into the Air Force, but they are dicking him around. He wants it so badly that he’s lost like 70 pounds to do so. He’s gotten into amazing shape, but for some reason they still want him smaller. They want his BMI to be less than 20%. This is a man who is built very much like me, and who currently weighs 213 pounds. He’s gotten to the point where he’s stopped lifting weights because he kept gaining weight by building muscle. The Air Force had told him he was good to go, and that he was going to take his physical on Thursday. Wednesday they told him that he was still too big, and to talk to them on Saturday.

The Army, of course, is ready to take him right now just the way he is. They could have him shipped off to boot camp on August 1st.

Not surprisingly, this is causing my sister no end of distress. In the Air Force it wasn’t looking very likely that he would end up being in the middle of the war in Iraq, or that if he was he’d be in a relatively safe location. The Army, though? Not so much. From everything I have heard (primarly from current or former enlisted folks), the Army is infamous for making all kinds of promises about what your job will be and then changing it the day you graduate from boot camp. Even if he ends up being some kind of mechanic and not a grunt he’ll likely end up in some kind of hot spot.

My sister has already buried one of her children. I don’t think she could deal with doing it again.

My personal feelings on the subject should be pretty obvious, but I also believe that he has to do what he feels is right. For some reason, the military is something he feels strongly about. He doesn’t like school, and he (like most people raised around here) is a young person that just “has to get out of here.” I had the same mindset, but to get out I did college and then (when that failed miserably) went on the road with the Renaissance Festival.

The big difference between my choices and his is that when I realized that Florida wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be I could just up and come home. He’s going to be stuck with his choice for at least six years.

Krystalle and Bill both suggested that he look into the Navy, and I’ve passed that along to my sister. I hope he does it.

In interesting and positive news, I got a call from maladr1n last night. There’s a role for a small boy in The Pillowman, and he asked if I thought Alex would be interested. It’s not a speaking part, and it wouldn’t require a lot of time commitment from us to make it happen. Ideally, I’d be able to play the role of the boys father as well (another small, non-speaking part). He could work around my class schedule so I’d only have to miss the three Thursday nights that were performance nights.

Of course, that’s 3 weeks in a row of missing a class. Thing is, it’s a lab class. Who knows if we’ll even actually be meeting those nights?

I guess I need to write to the professor and get some kind of idea as to whether or not it would be a possibility.

Even if it’s not feasible for me to play that Father, I’d like to see Alex be able to get the role. He’s asked me several times when he was going to get to do a Jobsite show, and I think it would be a great experience for him. Before I ask him, though, I need to clear it with his Mother.

Oh well…not much else going on in my head at the moment, and not really like this is the best post I’ve made anyway. Take care out there, folks.

Review #1

‘Pay’ comes up short by Marty Clear, St. Petersburg Times

It’s not really a bad review, after you’re done reading it. Especially compared to the title of the article. Sheesh. But yeah – he praises just about every aspect of the show (acting,directing,costumes) but spends most of his time slagging the script. Sheesh. He’s been hanging around Mark Lieb too much.

Meh.

So I had an utterly bizarre dream last night. I was on a Goth Cruise, and I had my son along. We were watching a movie in a casino, and he started to feel low so we were talking about what he needed to do (and joking around a bit while doing so). Some uber-pretentious Goths sitting behind us and to the left proceeded to videotape this conversation with the intention of putting it up on the web in some kind of video montage of “assholes on the cruise” that they were planning to make. I caught wind of this, and got confrontational (i.e. I got up in the pasty while little fuckers grill and started yelling). I can’t remember if his name was Ohio or just rhymed with it, but he definitely said something that sounded like Ohio several times. Anyway, one he realized I had a good foot in height and several more in width on him he decided to go get his friends to deal with me. What friend did he end up with? spud. Needless to say, I didn’t have anything to worry about from the Brute Squad. In fact, when spud found out Alex was involved I do believe that there were threats of violence heading towards Ohio and his other half.

Was a funny dream. Made me want to go on a Goth Cruise AND hang out with spud. Hopefully we’ll be able to find some time to do so at Dragon*Con.

Which, I really need to get off my ass and start budgeting for.

I’m sore, tired and more than a little cranky. It’s been a long assed week, and there was extra drama put on top of it that I just didn’t need. One more performance, and then we have two nights off. Man, I really need it.

This sucks

I specificially asked for tonight off from rehearsal so I could go to the post-season baseball game that Alex is supposed to be playing tonight…

…and it’s been raining all morning.

Even if it stops now, chances are the field will be saturated tonight and they’ll call the game.

This is lame.

Bad Morning…

So this morning there was a brown out at my house. Nothing major, but enough to take both of my computers offline. The server rebooted with no problem, but my computer? Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Tried disconnecting the power, resetting the bios, manually making the power switch connection (which I’ve never done before, so I’m not even sure I did it right). Nothing would make it trip over. I have power to the motherboard (there is an LED indicator), but other than that it’s apparently dead in the water. I’m operating under the assumption that the power supply has taken a shit, which is a real pisser because it was a fairly expensive power supply. I’m going to try to pick one up on the way home from rehearsal today (which is where I’m at right now).

Really, really didn’t fucking need this aggravation, ya know? Or expense. With everything going on in my life right now, additional aggravation is definitely NOT welcome.

Bleargh.

Written last night at about 6:15 PM

I’m writing this from the seats in the Shimberg Playhouse of the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center, waiting for rehearsals to begin. Much to my dismay, there are no wireless networks in the area for me to leech off of, so I’m forced to actually sit down and write as opposed to wasting my time surfing the net.

I suppose I could be going over my lines or something productive like that, but at the moment I’m in the mood to just kind of take a few minutes to collect myself and regroup for the rest of the evening. As such, I’m going to just jot down a few things and see wherever my rambling thoughts decide to go.

The last week was a pretty hectic one, but it was a hell of a lot of fun. Our friends John and Random, who we met while playing World of Warcraft, came down and spent the week camped out at our place. They were great houseguests, and in an amusing side note at the end of their stay Alex opined that they could stay forever. Always a good sign of a nice visit, don’t you think? Of course we spent a good deal of time promoting the area, as those of us actively recruiting more cool people to live here are known to do, but I think that for the time being at least they are staying put up in Cincinnati. Who knows what the future could hold, though? For know, at least, it’s safe to say that they have a place to visit any time they feel the need to get away.

On Friday night we took them out to The Castle, where we met up with several of the locals who play WoW with us. It was a hell of a good time. Sometimes I think we should go out there more often, but to be honest it isn’t the locale itself that makes the evenings there enjoyable. It’s the people. Hell, these days we usually end up spending most of our time out on the patio just hanging out and listening to music. We can do that at our places. Still, it was great to get my dance on and have a few drinks. Nothing quite to the extent that I used to when I was a regular denzien there (Ok, when did I get home and who was I making out with in the back seat???), but enough to certainly make it necessary for Krystalle to drive home. Speaking of the drive home – We decided to stop by our normal late night breakfast spot on the way, only to discover that it had been closed! We went to another one, closer to the house, and while the food was typical Denny’s fare the service was horridly slow. I don’t think it was entirely the fault of the kitchen, either, because by the time my Nachos made it to the table the cheese had kind of started to harden up into a congealed mass. Obviously we weren’t expecting a five star dining experience, but you’d think that the late night shift on a Friday night would be better equipped to handle the hordes coming in from the club to get their greasy food fix before hitting the sack.

Saturday night was game night, and for the second week in a row we opted to do the card game thing instead of our typical D&D session. Between our guests and rehearsals I just didn’t have the time to get anything ready for the session, and to be honest that might end up being the case more often than not until this process is over. I honestly don’t remember it taking quite so long to put adventures together when I was a kid, but that may have something to do with the fact that back then it was a lot more about senseless blood and gore than developing story or real challenges. Actually putting things together that make sense and require the players to actually do more than just “attack the orc” isn’t as easy as it sounds!

Speaking of which, I finally have a copy of cavalorn‘s first book in the Drow War series. As it is designed to take characters all the way from level one to twenty, I haven’t quite decided how we’re going to approach starting the campaign. Maybe we’ll switch back and forth between the two campaigns. Ah well, we’ll work it out.

Well, maladr1n just got here, so I’m gonna finish this up and get down to business. Will post this when I get home.

Ouch

Oh man, I’m sore.

Yesterday was a hellish day. As you saw from my list I had a ton to do, but what you didn’t see was the fact that one of the less labor-intensive items on that list, the sink repair, turned out to be a huge nightmare of an ordeal. And why? Because I didn’t thoroughly Read The Fucking Manual. I spent all told about 4 hours wrestling with what should have been about a twenty to thirty minute repair. I missed my fucking rehearsal yesterday over this, and unless I’m mistaken I haven’t missed a rehearsal with Jobsite yet. I had Krystalle drive me to a rehearsal once after I had passed out for christ’s sake (she took me to the ER after the rehearsal). So I’m kinda bummed over losing my perfect attendance record there. Ah well. At the time I called David the water was off to my house and I was about to make my second trip to Lowe’s (3 total to repair the sink).

Lessons learned. Much like my forays into electrical work, I ended up getting the job done (and done well). It just took a hell of a lot longer than it should.

Between that and everything else we did yesterday (my list was not the household list…all four of us were pretty much going non-stop from the time we got up), I’m REALLY sore today. The house, however, looks pretty damned amazing. Better than it has looked for a long time, I can tell you that much.

Our house guests, John and Random (Banick and March from Warcraft) showed up around 10:30 last night, and so far they are pretty damned spiffy folks. etcet, aishlynn and xanyboi stayed here until around 12:30 as we all sat around and got to know each other. I think the four of us finally went to bed around 2. There were many laughs and some of our favorite tales were exchanged, as well as the consumption of my grilled turkey burgers. Good times!

Oh, and before John and Random got here, xanyboi introduced us to Apples to Apples. Holy crap what a fun game that is!

Ok..I’m off. Gonna grab some coffee and see if I can muster up the motivation to exercise before rehearsal today.

To Do Today

  • Exercise
  • Shower
  • Baseball Game

  • Get Grill from Shed and put on back porch
  • Go to Home Depot
    • Get new propane tank

  • Go to Lowes
    • Try to find replacement hose for kitchen sink faucet
    • Get steel wool for cleaning grill
    • Get new vacuum cleaner
    • Weep softly over new debt incurred
    • Get Febreeze Carpet stuff
    • Get Grill Brush

  • Make Bed
  • Repair kitchen sink

  • Polish Stove Top

  • Clean Grill

  • Clean Bathroom (Tilex and Clorox in tub)
  • Rehearsal
  • Sweep/Mop Computer room floor
  • Vacuum bedroom

  • Go to Publix
    • Lipton onion soup mix
    • Eggs
    • Bacon
    • 4 pounds ground turkey
    • Hamburger Buns
    • Lettuce
    • Tomato
    • Chips
  • Deposit check in wallet (that you forgot about, dork) at GTE FCU
  • Find some time in all this to eat something
  • Shower (again)
  • Play card games, await arrival of house guests
  • Get with the merrymaking
  • Crash and burn

Twitch…

Man oh man, I was NOT in the mood to do my workout today. Much less take a physical challenge.

Did it anyway.

Glad I did, and I feel pretty good now…but boy, that was rough. Pictures this week after weigh-in. Krys is convinced I’m going to be happy with the results, and I hope she’s right. This needs to start paying off! I have missed a total of two days working out since January 27th. When I first started, it was just walking, but I moved up to Yourself Fitness at the beginning of February and haven’t stopped since. I know there have been improvements, but with the scale refusing to play nice It’s hard sometimes to keep going.

I mean, for Fuck’s sake, I still haven’t dropped all the weight I put on during Goth Cruise.

Blah, blah, bitchycakes.

This week won’t be as hectic as last week, but it’s still going to be a pretty fun filled one. We’ve got house guests coming into town next weekend, so we’ve gotta get the place cleaned up and ready for them. I don’t have as many rehearsals this week, but I’ve got to devote some of that time to memorizing my lines. Molten Core on Monday and Wednesday night. Gotta take Advanced Drivers Instruction class at some point this week (as I have to have the certificate turned in on Friday). Yeah…gonna be a fun one!

Oh, hey..speaking of our house guests – For those of you who play WoW with us, it’s Banick and Tawa (March). They’ll be here Saturday night or Sunday afternoon, and will be staying until the following weekend. Tawa is heading down to Key West for a few days, leaving Banick here to chill with us. We’re going to head out to The Castle on Friday night, and I believe that Elizium, Chaverta and Zharajenu are going to be out as well. If you have ANY idea what I’m talking about, you might wanna show.

Hell, you might wanna show anyway. Not like we make it out to The Castle all that often anymore.

Off to skin the flesh off a chicken, then I’m gonna chill out for the rest of the night!