Little “c”

We met with my oncologist this afternoon. He reinforced that if I had to get cancer in my pancreas this is, indeed, the best possible scenario. His exact way of wording it is that I have little “c” cancer instead of big “C” cancer.

Here are the specifics as I recall them (I am writing this on my phone while sitting in my car and killing time before a performance of Vulva Va-Voom: Hollywood Psychic. A show I am in as part of the Tampa Fringe Festival. Come see it).

I have what is known as a Pancreatic Neuroendocrine Tumor. It as an extremely rare form of pancreatic cancer, so yay me for finally being something other than average for a change. The important thing here is that it is not Adenocarcinoma, which accounts for 90% of all pancreatic cancers and is the big “C” one my doctor was referring to. The tumor I have is fairly large for a tumor and has likely been developing for years. It is possible that it was actually the cause of my Type II Diabetes and may have contributed to several other conditions I have been treated for over the last decade or so. What I have been diagnosed with is, by all accounts, very treatable and survivable.

The treatment is not going to be “easy” on me and I will be recovering for a while, but it is invasive surgery and that is pretty much par for the course for that kind of thing.

And yes, for those of you who are wondering, this is the exact same diagnosis Steve Jobs initially had, but I have one thing going for me he did not…I actually intend to let my doctors do something about it.

I have more tests to undergo to make absolutely sure this has not spread to or damaged other organs, and I am meeting with a surgeon at the Moffett Cancer Center as soon as I can get in to see one.

I am, I think understandably, unsettled by all of this and occasionally go deep into my feels and get all “why me?” I am not looking forward to the things that are now looming in my immediate future, but I am feeling very good about my chances of seeing the other side of it. I mean, Marvel just announced Secret Wars at the end of Phase 6 and I have to see how the Multiverse Saga plays out, so there really is not much choice in the matter.

Well. OK then.

I will get directly to the point if this post. Here is the cut and paste summary of what I have sent a few folks directly…

I have a cancerous tumor in my pancreas. It is, by all indications, highly treatable and was caught very early. In some cases the actual treatment for this kind is to do nothing and see what happens. I already have a relationship with an oncologist I really like and will be following up with him.

At this point I really do not have much additional data. I meet with my oncologist on Friday to figure out what kind of treatment, if any, I will need to undergo.

I am, as I am sure you can understand, a little tweaked out by the news, but I am very optimistic. I have excellent insurance, and a fantastic support network. I also have a partner who has been, and will be, by my side to help me get through this. I would have preferred to not deal with this, but I am grateful for all the positive things that are in place around it.

More as I learn it and as I have the mental fortitude to share, but I figured it made sense to share what I know for now.

As President Bartlett likes to say…”What’s next?”

A very brief health update…

My first biopsy was negative (thyroid).

Next biopsy is Monday (liver/pancreas).

I am still asymptomatic for anything related to cancers in that area, but they saw a cyst big enough to warrant further investigation.

I feel like the iron supplements are starting to work and my energy levels are beginning to rise again. Still confident the ultimate issue is just going to be that I give blood too often, but will not be 100% sure if that until September after my Upper and Lower GI tests and my next set of labs.

Mentally I am drained but still feeling positive about the whole thing. Lisa combines her medical experience and research skills to be able to provide contextual answers for me when I rabbit hole too deep into bad “what if” scenarios. She also has a whole laundry list of questions she wants me to pose to our primary care doctor when this is all said and done about our lifestyle choices and what we might have done differently to prevent some of this. I strongly suspect my coffee intake is going to be an issue but for now I am refusing to acknowledge that possibility. I will cross that bridge when I officially cross into my 50’s this November. Damnit. In any case, she has been by my side through all of this and her support, as always, is a major contributor to my mental health.

This was not as brief as I intended it to be, but there it is.

I am NOT Iron Man

TL;DR Opener to this post – I was recently diagnosed with Iron Deficiency Anemia. I am working with several doctors to determine the cause and to resolve the situation. At the current time we have no reason to believe that there is any major underlying cause for this situation, but I’ve been getting a lot of lab work and tests done to make sure of that. Fatigue and low energy are two of the symptoms Iron Deficiency Anemia, and the emotional weight/uncertainty adds to the mix, so if we’ve seemed flaky, distant, canceled plans, or otherwise seemed preoccupied lately it’s probably got more to do with this than anything else and I’m sorry.

OK, so…Disclaimer out of the way to (hopefully) avoid seeming overly dramatic…

I give blood as often as I can. So much so that people who I’ve made friends recently have commented on the number of blood donor shirts I have (which is especially amusing to me because I don’t keep most of the shirts I get and I generally only wear them when I’m working out. The latest campaign at OneBlood has been super hero themed, though, and some of the shirts have been really cool). A few years ago, I started having issues with my Iron Levels being too low when I went in to give blood. Nothing startling, and they are usually able to get me into the acceptable range by warming up my hands, but I’ve had a few occasions when they have had to turn me away. My Primary Care physician was aware of it, and we’ve been monitoring the situation along with my regular lab work (I was already seeing her three times a year with lab work because of my Type II Diabetes). I was also taking Iron supplements, mainly so that I could keep giving blood.

In June of last years my Iron levels were high. In March of this year, they were incredibly high. I also have had very low blood pressure for a while and some circulatory issues, so my doctor suggested I stop taking the Iron supplements follow up with a heart specialist and a hematologist to have some routine tests done and see if anything else was going on.

The heart stuff was fine. More than fine, really. The doctor said that most people would envy the blood pressure levels I have and suggested that I should eat more salty snacks. No problems there. My tests there revealed two small cysts/lesions that he wanted me to have looked at via ultrasound (one on my thyroid, and one on my liver), but both he and my PCP have assured me that those are very common and not generally a cause for concern. The tests are a “you have insurance and it’s better to be safe than sorry” situation.

Now, the hematologist? See, the first thing I found out when I made the appointment was that hematologists seem to almost exclusive practice out of cancer centers. So that was fun. Nothing quite like sitting in a waiting room with a bunch of folks who are being treated for cancer to get the blood flowing. My PCP had ordered an upper GI for me last year because I, like my father before me, have GERD and it’s been several decades since I’d had a scan to see if I’d developed any complications from it (I have not). She also had me take a mail-order colon cancer test (the second one I’ve had since the low iron issues started), which again came back fine, so I wasn’t overly concerned with the cancer thing. Still, it was unnerving.

In any case, lab work and subsequent appointments with that doctor determined that Iron Overload was not my issue, and that my Ferritin levels indicated I had what he characterized as a “severe” Iron Deficiency. He asked me not to give blood for six months, told me to start taking Iron supplements again with the goal of seeing if I could tolerate two pills a day, and suggested that I get another Upper GI and a Lower GI just to be absolutely sure there wasn’t some kind of severe underlying medical condition.

This is the point where, in Eugene Morris Jerome’s family, they would whisper “cancer” at the dinner table.

Now what he thinks is happening is that this is all a result of my regular blood donations. Other than the tests and getting back on Iron, there’s nothing else to really be done at the moment. If I go back and see him at the end of summer and my Ferritin levels are still too low he’s going to administer a series of IV’s to resolve the situation. If not, and nothing came of the other tests, he’ll work with me to figure out how often I can donate blood and what my Iron supplementation routine should be.

In the meantime, I’m tired. Really tired. I’ve got some other situations I’ve been dealing with as well, including severe leg cramps, chest pains, numbness and tingling, and other circulatory issues that I had just assumed were the result of my Blood Glucose levels being too high. Which, fun thing to find out, can be the result of…IRON DEFICIENCY ANEMIA. My BG numbers have been steadily increasing over the last few years despite the fact that my diet, for the most part, hasn’t really changed…so naturally I chalked all my symptoms up to that. Oh, and the fatigue thing? So a symptom of high BG levels is frequent urination, so on top of being constantly tired I also wake up regularly (pretty much every two hours to the minute) to use the restroom…which adds to my fatigue.

I haven’t spoken “publicly” about all this for a variety of reasons, one of the main ones being that despite the fact that I am absolutely one of those people who gets a comfort out of sharing details about my life online, I’m also a person who finds thinks a lot of people exaggerate or dramatize health/mental issues to garner likes/popularity/sympathy and I think that’s really gross. Social media is rife with people being performative and I’m just not interested in being part of that. But I also recognize that I’ve made vague references to my health concerns on a few occasions lately and that some of this has bled over into our social interactions, so I wanted to at least put this out there to explain why maybe we’ve just not been as accessible or otherwise socially apt lately.

This is all against the backdrop of major personal issues that, while not directly impacting us are going to have long-lasting impacts on my extended family. These issues have been taking up a considerable amount of what little mental stamina I have, and they really came to a head back in late November/early December of last year.

Generally speaking, though? I’m “fine.” I’m tired. I’m dealing with some health issues that have the potential to be Very Serious but are much more likely to be easily solvable through supplements, diet, and exercise. I’ve had to focus very much on keeping my head on straight for a while now, so my interest in or ability to deal with static in our lives that isn’t related to these situations is virtually non-existent. I recently read about “fork theory”, which is like “spoon theory” but different in a way that resonates very strongly with me. On any given day I can deal with a certain number of forks being stuck into me before I’m “done.” The number of forks I can tolerate these days is minimal at best.

We fear change!

On Friday, November 5th, 2010, Weight Watchers made a pretty major announcement.

They are changing the POINTS system.They haven’t given out any details yet, but if the video below is any indicator this isn’t like the changes we’ve seen in the past where they have given you options other than POINTS to track your food intake (options such as Core or Filling foods). No, from the sound of it they are going to fundamentally change the way POINTS are calculated.

This scares the crap out of me.

January 21st, 2011, will mark my 10 year anniversary on Weight Watchers. While I have not yet hit my ultimate goal weight, I have managed to lose and keep off approximately 170 pounds. I know the POINTS system like the back of my hand, and I can tell you the POINTS values of many foods without having to look them up. Now? All of that may change. I’m going to have to re-learn the program all over again.

Continue reading

Healthy Bites: Oh-oh! Not Spaghetti-O’s!

image courtesy of D.L. via flickr

It’s Friday, and what’s even better is that it is a holiday weekend (at least here in the states)! Whoo Hoo! If your place of business is anything like mine things are probably pretty dead right about now and you’re all sitting around watching the clock in eager anticipation of three days of non-work related bliss. You may also be staring in the face of a whole bunch of eating challenges in the form of grilled meats, chips, and tasty adult beverages.

In order to help you pass the time and perhaps provide you with a little motivation for the upcoming weekend I’ve compiled a list of news items from the last few weeks that you might be interested to know about. This will actually be the first in an ongoing series of Friday afternoon news summary posts, so I hope you enjoy it!

So let’s see what’s going on in the world of health and fitness!

Continue reading

By the light of the silvery iPad

Image via Silly Rabit, Trix are for Kids on flickr

Back in the late 1980’s Science Fiction and Fantasy author George R. R. Martin cobbled together a group of talented writers to create Wild Cards, a series of alternate history novels set in a universe where super heroes were real. One of the recurring characters in the series was a man named Croyd Crenson, alternately referred to as The Sleeper. In the Wild Cards universe people who were exposed to a virus had a chance to either die, become horribly deformed, or develop extraordinary abilities. The Sleeper was unique in that every time he fell asleep he would be infected with the virus anew, awaking in an entirely different form. Convinced that one day he would draw the “Black Queen” and die as a result of his re-infection with the virus, Crenson fought sleep for weeks on end.

Needless to say, this made him a bit crazy.

As anyone who has seen a Nightmare on Elm Street film can attest to, sleep is important (unless, that is, a scary dude who is covered in burns and has razors on his fingers is going to kill you in it). Going without sleep for long periods of time can have very negative effects on the psyche, but many of us aren’t likely to find ourselves in those kind of situations. What we do commonly face, however, are situations in which we simply do not get enough sleep. The average adult gets about 7 hours of sleep a night, but most studies suggest that in order to be fully rested they should be getting 8. Those numbers come from a study in Consumer Reports back in 1997. Chances are that if you did the same study today we’d probably be getting even less sleep.

One of the reasons? iPads.

Continue reading

National Security : It’s what’s for lunch

Image by chidorian via flickr

I have many fond memories of my school days. I remember my friends and some of the teachers I had that really made a difference in my life. I remember all of the awesome things that I got to experience at the arts focused high school that I went to. I remember how fun my senior prom was, and how thankful I was that my date for the evening had convinced me to go. I even remember how much I just enjoyed learning new things, but that may be a case of me looking back with rose-tinted glasses. If my grades were any indicator learning was the last thing on my mind in school.

What I do not have fond memories of, however, were the school lunches. In fact, I distinctly remember hating the cafeteria so much that I never set foot in it once after my Freshman year in high school.  (My friends and I would either brown bag it or go without and hang out in the theater or a sympathetic teacher’s classroom.) Not only was the threat of bullying higher in the loosely supervised cafeteria, but the food was horrible. Our school’s gastronomical oddities included strange, pinkish meat on rectangular slices of pizza, spaghetti with thick, rubbery noodles coated in disgustingly sweet sauce, and cheeseburgers made from some kind of textured vegetable protein that were often dotted with a slimy gray substance.

The school cafeteria was a pit of doom that smelled of death and sadness. It was my version of Hell, and a few years ago when I sent to my son’s school to have lunch with him I confirmed that nothing has changed. In fact, there were a few items there even more disturbing than I recalled.

What I didn’t know, though, was that the food being served in our schools was not just a threat to the emotional and physical well being of the poor children who actually have to eat it. The problem, it turns out, is far more acute than bad taste.

Continue reading

Squeezing into your genes

image via dullhunk on flickr

Tell me why, oh why, are my genetics such a bitch?

Shiloh from Repo: The Genetic Opera

The 1997 movie GATTACA portrayed an ugly future where people were pigeon-holed in society based upon their genetic make up. In order to live up to his life-long dream of being an astronaut, Ethan Hawke’s character in the movie had to assume the genetic identity of another man (played by Jude Law) who did not suffer from the same genetic impurities that Hawke did. Hawke was considered to be an ‘in-valid’ – someone who would never succeed in life because his genes would prevent him from doing so.

I don’t want to give away too much of the plot, but if you understand Hollywood at all, you can probably assume that one of the central themes in the story is that our genetic make-up does not necessarily have to determine our fate. Yes, you might be born with some kind of flaw in your DNA that makes you more likely to suffer from heart disease, but that doesn’t mean you’re necessarily going to.

Continue reading

Mixed messages

The Bad idea was Rafe's. The bad photoshop job is mine.

Long time readers of the site have probably picked up on the fact that Rafe and I have, at times, some very different views on what the “best” way to exercise is. As a general rule, Rafe is a big proponent of short, intense workouts designed to get the maximum benefit in the least amount of time. I, on the other hand, generally prefer the “slow and steady wins the race” approach. Instead of focusing on constantly trying to push my boundaries I find it’s more important to consistently get activity in at a level that is comfortable for me. Rafe has frequently characterized these mixed messages as our “good cop/bad cop” dichotomy. Rafe is the “bad cop” who will push you to levels that make you want to puke, while I’m the “good cop” that encourages you to be gentle with yourself. Both of us are trying to get the same thing out of you, but we do it in two radically different ways.

So who is right?

Well it turns out…we both are.

Continue reading